After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
