nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
