hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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