He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
