I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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