I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
