Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize