I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
