I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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