ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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