The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
