Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
