I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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