I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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