that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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