Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
