i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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