Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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