It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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