do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
