oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize