Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
