i just wanna soil my oats bro
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
