I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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