u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
