she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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