loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
