I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
