We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
