omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
