i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
