You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
