Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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