why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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