I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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