my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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