I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
