Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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