The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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