you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
birth control should be required to get into college
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
