It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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