after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you win again, gameday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
