Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
