We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
