There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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