I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
