mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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