flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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