is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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