I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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