Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
