He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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