It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
