I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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