She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
