Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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