tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
her vagine was all disorganized.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
