stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
