You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize